The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
