Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
