so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
