I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
