if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
