This girl is more easily done than said...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
