What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
