All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
