Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
