Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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