This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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