I'm jealous of your bromance
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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