Need sex. Gaining weight.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
