Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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