You're a womanizer and a bitch.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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