So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
