Pappa wants mamma naked
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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