Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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