I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
