Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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