I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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