Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize