i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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