I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
