Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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