I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
