I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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