This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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