she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
