just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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