Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
