Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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