I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
