I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We're too hungover to prance.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
