I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
