Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
