Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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