One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
