I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
