He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't deserve a penis
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
