too bad you live with your parents still
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Enjoy the penises
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
