Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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