Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
you never un-have a 4some
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
