Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Randomize
