i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
