I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
