How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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