i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
