i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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