I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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