Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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