They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I want a musical about memes.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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