I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
