Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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