Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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