break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Hippo gnu deer
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
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she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.