this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
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Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
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We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish