He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.