I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.