I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.