a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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