at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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