SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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