Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
